President Obama & the Non Sequitur

The Brits had Richard the Lionheart, and we have Barack the Smug.

Non sequitur, noun, according to Merriam-Webster: a statement that is not connected in a logical or clear way to anything said before it. Usually, upon hearing a non sequitur, you shake your head in stupefaction but then notice that your interlocutor is wearing his trousers inside-out and is completely insane. However, occasionally a presumably preposterous pronouncement makes all the sense in the world when the speaker’s identity and warped Weltanschauung are considered. President Obama, looking as world-weary as ever, provided a nice example yesterday when he actually said the following during a press conference with French President François Hollande, who is daily proving that he is a more serious person than our frivolous President (video above):

Next week, I will be joining President Hollande and world leaders in Paris for the Global Climate Conference. What a powerful rebuke to the terrorists it will be, when the world stands as one and shows that we will not be deterred from building a better future for our children.

Germany invaded Poland on September 1, 1939. Five weeks later, on October 8, Germany annexed western Poland. There’s no historical evidence that upon losing his country in 38 days, Władysław Raczkiewicz, President of the Polish Republic at the time, said to General Władysław Sikorski: “What a powerful rebuke to the Nazis it will be when we have Pierogis tomorrow.” Nor is there any confirmation that upon surrendering to Ulysses S. Grant at the Appomatox Court House on April 9, 1865, Robert E. Lee sent the following message to CSA President Jefferson Davis: “What a powerful rebuke to the Yankees it will be when tomorrow we eat chicken-fried steaks and corn pone, then refresh ourselves with mint juleps as only southern gentlemen can.” Nor is there any proof that General George Washington, spending the harsh winter of 1777-1778 in Valley Forge with his troops after having ignominiously lost Philadelphia in the fall, said to his aide-de-camp Alexander Hamilton: “Hey, Alex, what a powerful rebuke to the redcoats it will be when tomorrow we drink beer from Robert Smith’s Ale Brewery, a tonic made right in our own Philadelphia.”

ISIS offers a class to children in which the tots are taught the art of beheading by practicing on stuffed dolls. ISIS also indoctrinates some of its young into the profession of suicide bombing. With such busy schedules, the youth of ISIS probably don’t have time for instruction on global warming.

 

 

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