Former White House Press Secretary Jay Carney is…

..NSA leaker Edward Snowden.

In a bombshell discovery, Bud Fox News has learned that former White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has been arrested on the suspicion that he is actually Edward Snowden, the former NSA contractor who leaked classified documents about top-secret surveillance programs and was believed to be living in exile in Russia.  Reached for comment, Vice President Joe Biden, the only high ranking member of the administration willing to go on record about the Carney/Snowden connection, said, “I knew it.  Son of a gun, I just knew it.  I’ve been running around the White House for the last couple of months telling people that Carney was Snowden.  But nobody listens to me over there.  This is a big effing deal.”

According to Orville Bumpus, Director of the Grassy Knoll Institute for JFK Assassination Studies at Southwestern Louisiana Industrial Institute and author of Folks, Let Me Be Clear: The Obama Conspiracy, a best-selling book on the Obama Administration:

“This all ties in with the JFK assassination.  In early 1961, Lee Harvey Oswald was in Russian, or supposedly was.  Meanwhile, Ray Carney- that’s right, same last name as the press secretary-   who was at the time news director of KBOX radio station in Dallas, claimed that someone named Oswald tried to obtain from him the names of pilots who had volunteered on airborne missions over Cuba.  There are no coincidences, two Oswalds, maybe two Carney/Snowdens.  So, yes, it’s entirely possible that Carney is Snowden.  Remember, in March 2012, Obama told Russian President Medvedev in a face-to-face meeting that he would have more flexibility after the election that November.  The leaks started in June the following year.  Maybe “flexibility” was code for the unlawful dissemination of security documents by someone close to Obama, with the President’s cooperation.”

Contacted again later in the day, Vice President Biden told Bud Fox News, “OK, so I was right all along, and Carney is Snowden, or maybe vice versa.  Either way, who the hell is in Russia?  Well, I’m gonna find out.  As soon as I figure out where Russia is on the map, I’m getting on Air Force 2 and going over there.  I’m bringing him back.  Call it Operation Inherent Confusion.  Can you believe he fooled all those people by just parting his hair on the opposite side?”