The Personal Touch of Joe “The Handyman” Biden

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Welcome to ObamaLand: New Defense Secretary Ashton Carter already seems unaware of what is happening around him. (Photo: Evan Vucci/AP)

It’s probably a good bet that Joe Biden hasn’t had any real responsibility since Barack Obama tapped him as his running mate in April 2008. Depending on what you think of politicians, his do-nothing streak goes back even farther because Biden won a Delaware US Senate seat in 1972 and was elected to the New Castle County council two years before that when he was 27. He was graduated from Syracuse University College of Law in 1968, leaving virtually no time to pad his resume before plunging into the cesspool of local politics with his bid for county council. So Crazy Uncle Joe has been a glad-handing, back-slapping, empty-headed, faux-pas machine of a politico for 47 years. He is a living, breathing argument in favor of term limits.

If you keep your expectations low, the former Senator from Delaware is at least good for a few laughs, not because he’s witty, but because he’s capable of saying fairly ridiculous things, eg: “You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent…I’m not joking.”  Also entertaining in a twisted way is his occasional touchy-feely approach to women. In the face of his weird embrace of Stephanie Carter during her husband Ashton Carter’s swearing-in yesterday as the new Secretary of Defense, New York Magazine has a funny article on its website titled “9 Times Joe Biden Creepily Whispered in Women’s Ears.” The crack editorial staff at Bud Fox News thought the pic of Biden courting the female biker vote was the best of the bunch:

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Biden on the campaign trail in September 2012.  (Photo: Carolyn Kaster/© Corbis)

In the shot above, the new Secretary of Defense probably can’t see that the Vice President has his hands all over his wife, but he still looks a bit worried. There’s probably good reason for that: Keeping his head clear as a cabinet member in the kooky parallel universe of ObamaLand isn’t going to be easy. He’ll have to keep all kinds of counterintuitive things straight in his head; for example, he’ll have to remember that:

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