Marshawn Lynch to Establish Sign Language School for Deaf Children

Marshawn Lynch

Students at Marshawn Academy will be taught the founder’s signature crotch-grabbing signal, which means “I have to go to the bathroom.”

elementary school student

At Marshawn Academy, students like this young man will learn the new way to signal for a bathroom break.

Marshawn Lynch has announced that he will establish Marshawn Academy, a state-of-the-art sign language school for deaf children.  “The Marshawn Academy will break new ground in the education of deaf students.  The crotch-grabbing hand signal that I demonstrated recently against the Packers really just covers the tip of the toothpick,” said Lynch at a press conference this morning where he announced that he will endow the school with 12 monthly contributions of $131,050 for a total of $1,572,600.  Not without a sense of humor, Lynch said he chose that installment figure because it’s how much he’s been fined by the NFL since the start of the 2014 season.  Of the figure Lynch said, “My accountant and I couldn’t figure out my total career fines and forfeited salary, so I just went with this year.”

Lynch has hired Honor B. Lowd, currently chief administrator of the Auditory Oral School of Trenton, to be his institute’s first principal.  When reached for comment, Ms Lowd told Bud Fox News, “Whenever Marshawn is forced to speak with the press, his fans get to see that he is a master of non-verbal communication.  That’s why I’m so excited to be involved with this project.  The Marshawn Academy will use cutting edge pedagogic techniques with respect to deaf education.  For example, our instructors will develop lesson plans around things that have actually happened in Marshawn’s life.  And Marshawn will be involved in coursework development.  After all, he is a Cal Berkeley man.”  Although still a work in progress, the curriculum will include the following:

According to Ms Lowd, no classes are currently being developed that would emphasize non-verbal ways to demonstrate good sportsmanship.

 

 

 

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