Al Sharpton Tapped as New IRS Commissioner

Despite his occasional struggles with the English language (see video above), the Reverend Sharpton’s message to anyone planning on cutting corners with his or her Form 1040 will be quite clear: Pay up because I know all your dirty tricks!

In a magnificent move that nicely concludes yet another glorious tax season for the rapacious federal government, the Obama administration has tapped tax deadbeat, race hustler, and frequent White House visitor Al Sharpton as new IRS Commissioner, replacing John Koskinen, who was certainly one of the smuggest and most obnoxious federal bureaucrats in recent memory. Perched in fat-cat fashion, despite his trimmer frame of recent years, at the money-making intersection of race and religion, Sharpton will burnish the street-smart credentials of the Obama administration, typically home to incompetent, looks-good-on-paper types like Janet “Big Sis” Napolitano, whom the Rev could outfox blindfolded.

Asked for comment on the appointment, DeFred Goo Folts, Professor of Public Policy at the Newark (Delaware) State Normal School of Liberal Arts, Director of the Nixonian Institute for Governmental Ethics, and author of the superb, Pulitzer-nominated Sharpton bio The Reverend and the God Almighty…Dollar, told Bud Fox News:

This is a marvelous hire. If you run a casino where cheating by the patrons is rampant, you don’t call the cops to help you. You hire a bunch of card sharks, that is, guys who cheat for a living. In the government’s case, if you want to crack down on tax cheats, you don’t hire a priest to get confessions. You hire the quote unquote Reverend Al. This hire tells tax cheats that the jig is up because the new commissioner is an ever bigger cheat than they are, so he can’t be fooled like some nitwit bureaucrat.

Remember, at one point, 41 people in the Obama administration owed the IRS about $830,000 in back taxes; that’s about $20 grand per person, not an enormous sum, but I can’t imagine the government would let you or me get away with that. So Sharpton will be right at home. According to the New York Times, in late 2014, Sharpton had $4.5 million in current state and federal tax liens against him and his for-profit businesses. And there’s no indication that he’s paying it off. So those 41 are pikers next to him. He is an expert at shifting money back and forth between his for-profit entities, like Revals Communications, which the Rev once actually claimed in court owned all his assets save for a single suit and watch, and his non-profits, like the National Action Network, which never pays its payroll taxes but has enough money to give Sharpton a loan for his daughter’s tuition.

When asked about Sharpton at yesterday’s press briefing, White House press secretary Josh “Farfrom” Earnest gave this response:

If you make the obvious assumption that Al Sharpton is still the same person who was involved in the Tawana Brawley hoax and the Freddy’s Fashion Mart catastrophe, then it should be very clear why President Obama wanted this man in his administration. The tough decision was figuring out whether he would better serve the country as head of the IRS or as a senior member of the Justice Department’s civil rights division.

Earnest brought the press briefing to a close with the following remark:

I apologize for ending this session early, but considering who’s now in charge at the IRS, I need to go fill out Form 4868 for an extension on my taxes. To be honest, I hadn’t planned on paying.

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