Don’t fall asleep at the wheel while formatting the 34th draft of the client presentation.

“To fall asleep at the wheel,” verb phrase, to fail to do one’s duty; to make a significant mistake.  Usage note:  Slingers of finance lingo recognize that this expression has the same definition as “to drop the ball.”  They prefer the latter though and use it more often because Wall Streeters, some of whom are former athletes but more of whom are jock wannabes, love that good locker room banter (especially in the cases of investment bankers and analysts because it makes them feel like the more rough and tumble traders, of whom they are usually terrified).  Continue reading →

Lack of sleep should never get in the way of completing actionable items.

“Actionable item,” noun phrase, a specific piece of work assigned to a person. Usage note: When an investment banking vice president breezily calls an associate or analyst (both rank below the VP in the pecking order) into his office to talk about a new assignment, the VP will assign a number of actionable items to his lackey at the end of what will inevitably be a one-way discussion. It should be noted that the VP invariably calls the junior banker to his (the VP’s) office; there are almost no circumstances imaginable in which the VP would deign to get up from his desk and walk to the associate’s crappy three-man, internal closet-masquerading-as-an-office or the analyst’s ramshackle cube. Continue reading →

“I could do this all year”

“Run-Rate Basis” is a technical finance term that has almost nothing to do with the individual words in the phrase. But no matter, it’s a trope that sounds really cool and that Wall Street people use to reinforce the notion that they are of above-average intelligence.

The phrase simply means to take a given metric such as revenue or profits for a recent period of performance, typically a quarter, and annualize the result (for a quarter, times the number by four). The purpose of doing this is to extrapolate recent past performance into the future. The potential problems with such fortune telling should be obvious.

Junior bankers, called analysts, are known to develop multiple techniques in their work to save time and energy. Anything that can shorten the period between when “face time” ends (typically 9 or 10 PM.) and when the analyst can actually get through his meaningless work and go home for the night is a welcome device. Using a “run-rate basis” is one such technique to make life easier, if used with caution. Continue reading →

Will it confuse the client? Then make it more accessible to the reader.

“More accessible to the reader,” adjective phrase, capable of being understood; comprehensible.  Usage note:  After an analyst or associate has taken a first crack at a presentation to a client, a vice president will usually sit down with the minion and review a printed copy of the document.  It should be noted that a typical VP, in particular if he’s achieved that title by surviving a stint as an associate, considers himself a genius, god’s gift to corporate finance. Continue reading →

Going forward into Cliché Land…

“Going forward,” adverbial phrase, henceforth; in the future.  Usage note:  When talking about a retailer’s ability to cut costs, an equity analyst, working himself into a lather of financial bullspit, might say, “We think the company will be able to ‘leverage’ SG&A ‘spend’ going forward.” Continue reading →

On the receiving end of finance-speak…

“Out of pocket,” adjective, unavailable (as for a meeting).  Usage note:  When a normal person engages in a conversation with a heavy user of financial lingo, translational problems can arise because Wall Street types can’t help but sprinkle their non-work exchanges with asinine entries from their industry lexicon.  For example, if a plumber sizes up a repair problem at a Wall Streeter’s house and then says, “I’ll call you later in the week when I have the parts I need,” he may hear the following response:  “I’ll be out of pocket.” Continue reading →

Another serving of those pro-forma results…

“Pro-forma” adjective, referring to financial statements this word describes the various “adjustments” to an actual, reported result (eg. revenue, income, costs, etc.) to show a hypothetical, expected or potential outcome that did not actually happen due to any number of factors. Companies and their bankers present pro-forma numbers in their attempt to get buy-siders and investors to ignore reality and believe their good story.  Perhaps the word, being Latin instead of plain English, was adopted so the smart finance guys could convey a sense of “it sounds complicated and it is… you wouldn’t understand.  Just trust us on this one.” Continue reading →

The Point Man coordinates all the changes to the “document.”

“Point man,” noun phrase, according to its second definition in Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition, one who is in the forefront; especially:  a principal spokesman or advocate (e.g., the point man for the President’s economic policy).  Usage note:  Unfortunately for the person unlucky enough to be designated point man in the glamorous world of investment banking, the role is not quite as elegant as Messrs. Merriam and Webster imply.  That person is indeed in the forefront, but here it’s the vanguard of the grunt work. Continue reading →

Some MDs are big picture guys.

“Big picture,” noun phrase, a broad, strategic perspective (without the benefit of any detail whatsoever and, as a result, often flawed) on a particular subject.  This expression can also be used adjectivally.   Continue reading →

What’s wrong with cell (GF256)!?

“Bust in the Model” is a phrase that will strike utter terror into the heart of almost anyone who works in a financial capacity whether they be in investment management, research, banking, or corporate finance. Continue reading →