President James Buchanan:  No longer the cellar dweller?

Dr. Laird Spectre of the Paranormal Institute has determined that the ghost of James Buchanan has breathed a sigh of relief.  Spectre claims that he has incontrovertible proof of an encounter with the former President.  Dr. Spectre told Bud Fox News:  “It was an extraordinary meeting.  Mr. Buchanan’s ghost told me that he had been relieved of a great weight.  You see, most ghosts appear among us because, well, in practical terms, they have some sort of unfinished business or regret.  I asked what had happened to finally bring him peace.  He said he couldn’t rest as long as he was known as the worst president in United States history.  But he said that after 153 long and tortured years, he can finally sleep.  When he saw the opening skit on Saturday Night Live last weekend, he knew he was in the clear.  He asked me to thank President Obama.”

According to unnamed sources in the Oval Office, descendants of Buchanan have actually tried to contact President Obama to thank him for his key role in easing the mind of Buchanan’s ghost.  When asked to take a phone call from Buchanan’s great-great-nephew, the president said, “Let me be clear, I don’t want to talk to those folks.  And by the way, did you get me a tee time?” 

Asked by Bud Fox News whether Buchanan’s ghost was right to think he’d been replaced at the bottom of the presidential dung heap, noted presidential scholar and historian Manassas Culpeper had this to say, “Well, to the extent you believe this rather strange tale, I think, yes, Buchanan’s ghost can finally call it a night.  Presidents Harding and Carter probably relaxed after the botched roll-out of Obamacare, and I’d say that Buchanan is safe now too.”