Last night’s American Football match between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Houston Texans will be added to the list of military disasters, Wikipedia editors said this morning. Continue reading
Category Archives: Sports & Leisure
Levi’s Sell in Secret Code
“How do I look in black stretch?”
If you are a regular guy and not a fashion-obsessed one, and you decide it’s time for a pair of new Levi’s, get ready for some potential confusion. Actually, even if you are among the clothes-concerned, prepare for perplexity. A visit to the Levi’s website (or even the Macy’s one, which offers fewer choices but sufficient bewilderment) introduces you to a Kafkaesque, sartorial Babel where colors have names like “anodized anthracite” and distinctions seem to have no difference. After reviewing the selection of Levi’s 511s on the company’s website, Susan Pantzaroff, Professor of Marketing at Northern Indiana Normal School and Business Institute, concluded: “Levi’s seems to be employing a cutting edge marketing technique called ‘Confuse the Customer.’ It’s quite popular in the mattress industry. But within the academic community, the jury is still out on whether it’s a good strategy. We need to run more regressions on it. But my first question to Levi’s would be, ‘Where’d you come up with a color called Shadow Bull Denim?’” Continue reading
Peyote and Pathetic Football Bring Together Redskins Owner and Navajo Chief
Snyder’s charm might be offensive.
Budfoxnews.com reader Fang Wang, a college application consultant whose fees are quite reasonable given his track record of getting teenage stoners into decent colleges, pointed out to Bud Fox News that this past Sunday Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder sat with Navajo Nation President Ben Shelly and his wife at the Redskins’ 30-20 loss to the Arizona Cardinals at University of Phoenix Stadium. The loss drops the Redskins to 1-5 on the season.
A Redskins executive who asked to remain anonymous told Bud Fox News that, in an odd attempt at diplomacy, Snyder took several buttons of peyote in Shelly’s presence before the game, which might explain Snyder’s somewhat strange subsequent behavior. In the photos below, Snyder can be seen staring skyward; struggling to form words and gesturing clumsily while Shelly looks on with the patience of a kindergarten teacher; and lastly, simply disappearing from the picture (he was apparently just outside the camera’s purview hooting like an owl and trying to turn his head all the way around his body). Continue reading
Is ESPN’s Trent Dilfer Moonlighting at Goldman Sachs?
Who…
…is who?
Reader Evan Keel recently brought to the attention of Bud Fox News the uncanny resemblance between Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein and former NFL quarterback and current ESPN commentator Trent Dilfer. But according to a Goldman employee who asked to remain anonymous, the Blankfein-Dilfer connection has actually been a closely-guarded secret at the firm since shortly after July 9, 2008, when Dilfer announced his retirement from the NFL. According to our source, that’s when Dilfer apparently began moonlighting as a body-double for Blankfein when he travels to potentially dangerous areas like the Middle East, San Francisco, or Berkeley.
Tom Watson Sucker-Punches Nice Old Lady
Tom Watson faces assault charges after he allegedly knocked a 73 year-old woman unconscious.
Having beaten a hasty retreat from the Ryder Cup imbroglio back to his tranquil hometown of Stilwell, Kansas, Tom “Captain Queeg” Watson, 65, allegedly struck Kitty Peed, 73, his partner in a local charity badminton tournament that was held yesterday in a church parking lot. Eyewitnesses claim that the hyper-competitive Watson was infuriated because he and Peed had been routed in four consecutive games. After the fourth loss, a sloppy 21-7 drubbing, Watson allegedly screamed at her: “You stink at foursomes“ which, in a macabre twist, is exactly what he told the US Ryder Cup team on Saturday, September 27, after a disappointing day for the team, which he captained. When Peed meekly replied that she was trying her best, Watson apparently flew into a rage and struck the septuagenarian with a wicked right hook, knocking the woman unconscious. Peed was rushed to the hospital, where she remains. She is being treated for a broken jaw and a concussion. Watson was arrested on the scene. Continue reading
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