Itinerary Leaked for Brian Williams’ 6-month Fabulist Vacation

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Brian Williams might visit District 12 during his Fabulist Vacation. (Photo: Lions Gate Films)

A source at NBC has told Bud Fox News that Brian Williams’ six-month suspension will allow him to work on a project that he’s been pitching to the network for several months. Said the source:

When he first pitched this project, we all thought he was joking, but he was dead serious. The guy is truly ready for the funny farm. 

Meant to be a TV travelogue, Williams’ project will show him visiting a number of well known spots and conducting interviews with the locals. According to the source, people knew Williams was a straight-jacket candidate when he spoke about the destinations he had in mind. The source provided Bud Fox News a list of Williams’ proposed destinations. They include the following: Continue reading

It’s a Ron-off: Ron Burgundy, Ron Jeremy Top Candidates to Replace Brian Williams

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Fake anchorman Ron Burgundy…

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…and adult film “actor” Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy are the leading candidates for anchorman Brian Williams’ job. (Photo: Getty Images North America)

A source at NBC has told Bud Fox News that porn star Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy, patron saint of raincoaters everywhere, and Ron Burgundy, protagonist of the movies Anchorman and Anchorman 2, have emerged as the top two candidates to replace disgraced NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams. Said the source:

It’s true. NBC management thinks that both Rons have a lot in common with Brian. Take Ron Jeremy. To many people, the guy lives some sort of fantasy life.  And so does Brian. As far as Ron Burgundy, well, he’s a made-up character who reports made-up news.  So is Brian, when you think about it. If I had to handicap this one, I think Jeremy is the front-runner. If he’s not contractually committed to filming “Nude World Order II” next month, then I think the job is his.

Tracked down on the set of his latest film, Gluteus to the Maximus Part IV, Jeremy was excited: Continue reading

Brian Williams: Hillary Inspired Me to Make It All Up

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Influenced by Hillary Clinton’s fictitious account of facing sniper fire in Bosnia, Brian Williams joined the ranks of the fabulists. (Photo: fansided.com)

As has been extensively reported, Brian Williams admitted yesterday that although he’s been confidently telling the tall tale for years, he was in fact not aboard a military helicopter that was hit and forced down by an RPG on the eve of the Iraq War in 2003.  On a visit to the Late Show with David Letterman in 2013, Williams, displaying a cocky élan that now seems to belie some sort of psychosis and certainly deserves an ignominious job dismissal, regaled the cranky sexagenarian host with a story that includes this complete fabrication: “…two of our four helicopters were hit by ground fire including the one I was in.”  He was clearly having a ball telling this anecdote and making himself out to be a fearless yet fun, hot-zone-loving, bad-ass journalist.  Wiliams’ most recent telling of this story, just last week during a televised tribute to a retired soldier at a New York Rangers hockey game, is what got him in trouble.  Soldiers actually involved in the incident saw the broadcast and told Stars and Stripes newspaper that Williams was full of crap, which led to Williams’ weird, vacant 50-second, on-air apology last night.  The brief mea culpa is fascinating to watch because everything about the anchorman’s delivery- facial expression, tone of voice, body language- would make you think that he’s blithely talking about a third party or something totally unserious like the Little League World Series.  It also makes you think that he might have a borderline personality disorder.

Bud Fox News‘ Silence Bellows was able to have a brief, exclusive conversation with Williams early this morning.  He admitted that he thought he could get away with it: Continue reading