The i-banking VP will demand that underlings “step up” on even irrelevant, crappy assignments.

“Step up,” verb phrase, to make an unusually significant effort.  Usage note:  A vice president will never reveal to an underling when a task assigned to him is low priority.  In addition, the VP will almost always employ a false deadline.  For example, if the VP has about eight hours of work that needs to be done before presenting information to a managing director on a Wednesday, a particularly obnoxious VP will stick his analyst or associate with the task on Friday afternoon and tell him that he wants a hard copy of the completed job delivered to his house by noon on Sunday, three full days before the meeting.

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The Banksters Banquet

“Bankster,” noun portmanteau of banker and gangster, pronounced /`bangk-stah/ if the user is striving for ‘street cred’ (i.e. street credibility for wannabe gangsters).  A profiteering, predatory or dishonest financier.

Usage note: This term is used primarily as a pejorative. Occupy Wall Street-type dingleberries over-apply the word to describe all those that actually occupy Wall Street jobs. Of course, in many instances the term is rightfully applied to the Fat Cats of Finance (as opposed to the armies of drones working in the industry), who are regularly fleecing the rest of society in the name of helping people save, manage and raise money. Continue reading →

Ouch, that was my bonus.

“Take a Hit”, verb phrase: In business and finance, to suffer an adverse result or outcome. In this context, it is something to be avoided. In cannabis culture, to inhale (i.e. to take a drag, puff, or toke) of a marijuana cigarette (a.k.a. joint, spliff, blunt, or roach). In this context, it is something sought after. The dual meaning and diametric connotation can potentially confuse and ensnare the neophyte junior analyst at a hedge fund or investment bank, if he is not used to keeping his personal and professional lives separate.

Usage Note: Finance and business types use this phrase usually when money is lost in one way or another, often with an element of surprise. For example, a CEO (such as Ron Johnson of recent JC Penney fame) trying to explain a 20% decline in sales year-over-year might say, “We underestimated the number of customers we would lose by changing our pricing strategy from discount to premium luxury over a single weekend. Our revenues took a hit as a result.” Continue reading →