GQ Says: Pinkie Rings for Everyone?!

signet-rings-gq-magazine-november-2014

GQ says: Don’t be a mook, get a pinkie ring.

Yes, that’s right.  To the bewilderment of the Bud Fox News’ editorial board, GQ Magazine, in its November issue (yes, the same edition that’s pushing harem pants), asks men to reconsider the signet, or pinkie, ring:

Chances are your dad’s dad’s dad had a signet ring with his initials or family crest on it. He may have even dipped his in wax and stamped his mail with it—that’s what the flat top was for. Then the signet ring became a mafioso staple. Now, finally, it’s got a sense of humor. Like all the other men’s jewelry that’s come back in style, the new signets are masculine but self-aware—less likely to sport your monogram, more likely to drop an F-bomb. Find one that fits your personality and do your best to refrain from asking folks to kiss the ring.

Zoda Viola Gazola, Professor of Fashion Design at The Girls’ Technical Institute and College for Women, was unimpressed:

“An F-bomb inscription?  Well, now, that’s elegant.  You know, this rag of a magazine comes out monthly, so now the name is officially completely wrong.  It’s not a quarterly.  And it’s clearly not for gentlemen.”

Ima Pedagogue, Professor of Journalism at Northern Indiana Normal School and Business Institute, who has written extensively about the US fashion magazine industry, has an interesting observation about GQ’s pinkie ring recommendation:

“This magazine could probably do a better job of unifying its message.  If you look through the archives of GQ’s Style Guy, who is their resident fashion expert, he doesn’t really give pinkie rings a ringing endorsement.”

Bud Fox News found the following item in the Style Guy’s archives.  In Style Guy’s answer to a question about pinkie rings, he doesn’t sound too fond of them.  Said Professor Gazola, “I’d stick with the Style Guy on this one.  Say ‘no’ to the Vinny Boombotz look.”

From GQ.com

Pinkie rings—tacky or acceptable?

Q:  I am thinking about getting into jewelry and am considering purchasing a pinkie ring. I’ve seen rappers wear them, and though I don’t want to look like them, I think the rings are pretty cool. What’s your opinion?

A:  Generally, I consider wearing a pinkie ring to be in roughly the same category as growing one fingernail long to prove that you don’t work with your hands; i.e., you are a pimp, a drug dealer, or a CFO. That said, I don’t mind my tweedy brethren who emulate that splendid friend of the planet, the Prince of Wales, by wearing a signet ring on their diminutive digit. This practice is especially acceptable if one has some sealing wax and a Zippo lighter in his pocket to authenticate and secure one’s correspondence. Diamonds are not a gentleman’s best friend.

Bud Fox News’ Silence Bellows spoke by phone to Joey “Two Times” Banaducci, erstwhile contract killer for the Trenton mafia who is now doing 20 years to life for the murder of Ralphie “No Nose” Jenks.  When asked whether he wears a pinkie ring, Joey scoffed:

“Silence, please, you know me better than that.  The Banaduccis don’t wear no pinkie rings.  That’s low class.”

Hoff pinkie ring

The pinkie ring: Not even The Hoff can pull it off.

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