If a Keg Falls in the Woods and No One Is There, Does It Sound Like a Fraternity?

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Without any of these, does UVa really have…

SigmaPhi-Composite-1958_350w

….any of these?

On November 19, Rolling Stone published “A Rape on Campus: A Brutal Assault and Struggle for Justice at UVA,” written, with all the objectivity of a brainwashed cult member, by the now incommunicado (no doubt on advice of counsel) Sabrina Rubin Erdely.  The centerpiece of the article was the alleged fraternity gang rape of a first-year student named Jackie.  Although Erdely’s not-fit-for-journalism-junior-college handiwork had doubters from the beginning, on November 22, University of Virginia President Theresa Sullivan, in a decision that would please the late Earl Warren (and his Commission) for its hastiness and liberals everywhere for its political correctness, suspended all social activity for Greek organizations until January 9.  Sullivan’s edict started to look a bit hasty when Rolling Stone, on December 5, posted a quasi retraction regarding Erdeley’s word-turd, in which the magazine pusillanimously blamed Jackie the putative victim instead of the author’s apparent unwillingness to do even a Nancy Drew level of investigative work (no more was needed to see that the story was largely, if not entirely, apocryphal).  By December 22, the article was so discredited that Rolling Stone announced that it had asked the Columbia Journalism School to investigate how the magazine had botched this one so egregiously.

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From the Loony Bin

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Internet drug dealers take a hit: Bitcoin off 32% in last two days.


Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

Florida State University Campus Police to Throw “Farewell Jameis” Party

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FSU campus police are so glad to see this guy go…

Police party

…they’ve decided to throw him a bon voyage party.

Campus police at Florida State University were so overjoyed to learn that controversial quarterback Jameis Winston will not be returning for his junior year that they will throw him a farewell party on March 15.  Said Officer Justin Case, “It’s gonna be such a load off our backs.  It’s been nonstop since the suspect…I mean…this young man got to Tallahassee.  He is a one-man police blotter.”

According to sources within the campus police department, the party will have everything attendees would naturally expect from a celebration held in Winston’s honor:  The evenings’s entertainment will include:

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From the Loony Bin

rob_konrad_ocean_sun

Or was he just out drinking all night? Ex-Miami Dolphin Rob Konrad at press conference discussing his 16-hour swim for survival.

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel

“Agnostic”: Financial Expression of the Day

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Agnostic? Who knows? Hedge fund pros don’t waste time on matters theological…

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…they’re too busy worshiping the (god) almighty dollar.

Agnostic, adjective, having no bias with respect to position in the capital structure.  Usage note:  Merriam-Webster defines an agnostic (noun) as “a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god.”  However, when a hedgie (an execrable moniker for “hedge fund professional”) uses the term, there’s scant chance that he’s discussing matters theological because he typically worships one thing …the almightly dollar.  Moreover, despite how glamorous he allows his friends to think hedge fund life is (all the while keeping silent on the due diligence trips to places like Detroit to “kick the tires” on the sexiest of distressed auto parts suppliers), our hedge fund man simply doesn’t have time to finalize his thinking on the existence of God (or a god).  When he’s not updating one of his many 20-tab Excel financial models, he’s making frantic calls to headhunters while his portfolio manager boss, a graduate of the “what have you done for me lately” school of management, continues to humiliate him in front of the entire firm over his last two consecutive dogshit stock recommendations. Continue reading

From the Loony Bin

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President Obama and his senior Brain Trust…

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…played the Invisible Man at yesterday’s Paris unity march.

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel…

From the Loony Bin

Zombies

Just like these zombies…

Mitt

…Mitt might be back from the dead.

A few days’s worth of Daily Drivel…

From the Loony Bin

Christie Bryant

One self-aggrandizing brown-noser of athletes hopes to replace….

Obama Lebron

…same.

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel…