From the Loony Bin: Revenge of the “Villanova Piccolo Girl,” Etc…

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Hillary_4Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

  • New lease on life: Herbalife shares up over 40% this month.  (USA Today)
  • Swing and a miss: Time Warner Cable to take $1 billion write-down on LA Dodgers television deal.  (TV Week)
  • Keystone Cops: US spied on Israel, who was spying on US and giving info to…US Congress!  (WSJ)
  • Tapped out: Greece to run out of cash by April 20.  (Reuters)
  • Just the normal noises: Iran’s supreme leader chants, “Death to America,” as nuclear pact looms.  (NY Post)
  • Cruzin to the primaries: Ted Cruz is first to declare his candidacy for president.  (NYT)
  • Just coffee, please: Starbucks modifies its racial awareness campaign.  (Washington Post)
  • Plea bargains for former NFL player: Darren Sharper avoids possible life sentence by taking deals in four states.  (NBC)
  • Little Leaguer is the bigger person: Mo’ne Davis asks college to reinstate player who insulted her.  (NPR)
  • Wildcat revenge: Crying “Villanova Piccolo Girl” plays with The Roots, Jimmy Fallon’s band.  (Bleacher Report)

 

“Dog and Pony Show”: Financial Expression of the Day

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Dog and pony

They’ll never admit it, but managing directors love nothing more than a good dog and pony show. (Photo: silverdoctors.com)

Dog and Pony Show, noun phrase, according to Merriam-Webster: an often elaborate public relations or sales presentation; also, an overblown affair or event. Usage note: Although many senior bankers would never admit it, they all love a good dog and pony show. A catch-all expression, it aptly describes many of the silly presentations that bankers crank out and actually believe rank higher than brain surgery in importance and difficulty.  A good example is a road show, which is a series of presentations given to professional investors by the management team of a company that is issuing securities (for example, an initial public offering). It gets its name because management and the lead underwriter (simply put, “the lead” in banker parlance) literally go on the road like a bunch of Bible-selling hucksters, hitting all major US cities (and Europe if it’s a real boondoggle) in attempt to drum up interest in their deal by rhapsodically talking up the company’s prospects while walking the truth/lie knife edge, a game that everyone involved- pitcher and pitchee- tacitly understands. They do big group breakfasts and lunches in fancy hotel dining rooms; they do “one-on-ones” every hour at investors’ offices that run the interior design gamut from Caligula-esque to monk-like affairs in strip malls (the range of offices stocked with everything from super model manqué secretaries to 300-pound bearded ladies who refuse to get coffee); they do small group dinners at high-end bistros; and they squeeze into low-end conference rooms during any down time for “calls” with investors who just can’t bear the prospect of seeing these people face-to-face. At a breakneck pace, they travel by plane, taxi, “black car” or rental, subway, railroad…whatever method will deliver them to an investor who’s got enough excess cash and a half hour open on his schedule. Continue reading →

White House Leaks President Obama’s Real Bracket

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ESPN_barack_obama_ncaa_bracket_jc_150318_16x9_992

Just a smokescreen: Earlier this week, President Obama discussed his phony bracket with ESPN’s Andy Katz.  (Photo: ABC News)

Don’t be fooled by the NCAA tournament bracket that President Obama proudly unveiled earlier this week. It’s a phony: They aren’t his real predictions. Bud Fox News has acquired a copy of Obama’s real picks, and they make for one hell of an ugly bracket. Obama plays a significant part in the leaked grid, no surprise considering this is the same person who told students at the University of Maryland, “I’ve still got game.” Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin: All the Way with UVa, Etc…

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Virginia

Canada Bill picks UVa.


Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

  • Your tuition dollars at work: Penn State associate professor of sociology is arrested for bizarre, disorderly conduct aboard Nicaragua-Miami flight.  (Washington Post)
  • Schocking fall from grace: Republican Congressman Aaron Schock of Illinois will resign amid questions about his spending.  (Bloomberg)
  • Blame it on the weather: Housing starts fall 17% in February to lowest level in a year.  (Forbes)
  • Enemy within: US Air Force vet charged with trying to support ISIS.  (Reuters)
  • Bibi’s back: Netanyahu reelected.  (AP)
  • WMT breaking bad: Meth lab found in Muncie, Indiana WalMart bathroom.  (NY Daily News)
  • Using his head: 49ers LB Chris Borland, 24, retires over head injury worries.  (FoxSports)

Republicans Coalescing Around Netanyahu US Presidential Bid

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Netanyahu: Practicing for future State of the Union addresses

Netanyahu: Preparing for future State of the Union addresses

In a shocking, if not terribly surprising development, Bud Fox News has learned that Republican party leaders and key heavyweight donors are coming to a consensus that Benjamin Netanyahu, the current Israeli prime minister, will be the party’s “establishment” candidate for the 2016 US presidential election. The news comes in the wake of the unprecedented access Messr. Netanyahu has been granted to the US legislative bodies, highlighted by the invitation from Republicans to give a prime-time address to a joint session of Congress on March 3, 2015. It’s unclear how this late-breaking news will affect his chances of re-election as Israeli’s hit the polls today to elect a new prime minister.

Many political observers question the move and some are alarmed by this bold extension of Israeli meddling in US affairs. “You thought the tail was wagging the dog before- you ain’t seen nothing yet”, one senior Obama administration official observed.

Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin: Waiting on the Fed, Etc…

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...an intwest wate.

The markets wait for either Tweety Bird or…

I tawt I taw...

…Federal Reserve chair Yellen to speak on Wednesday.  (Photo: Getty images)

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

  • The wait on rates: The Federal Reserve speaks this Wednesday.  (USA Today)
  • Has the Middle Eastern arms race begun? Saudi Arabia signs nuclear cooperation agreement with South Korea.  (WSJ)
  • Was he away at sensitivity training? Putin returns from 10-day AWOL.  (Reuters)
  • He got weeded out: St. John’s shot-blocking center banned from NCAA tourney because of failed drug test.  (NBC Sports)
  • Wheel him into the OR: Mets’ fireballer Zach Wheeler likely to go under knife for torn elbow ligament.  (USA Today)
  • Rangers are disarmed: Ross Ohlendorf is fifth Texas Ranger pitcher to go down with an injury.  (ESPN)
  • Kentucky or the field? The other 67 have the edge.  (ESPN)
  • Pelicans’ Anthony Davis puts up historic line in loss: 36 points, 14 rebounds, 9 blocks, 7 assists.  (CBS Sports)
  • HBO gets its man: Killer unwittingly confesses during filming of documentary.  (NYT)
  • Not pot: 6th-grader suspended for possession of leaf that is not marijuana.  (Roanoke Times)

US Secret Service to Be Replaced by Sigma Chi Fraternity

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Beer bong

Sigma Chis hoping to represent the US Secret Service will have to demonstrate more than mere mastery of a beer bong. (Picture: http://snowboarding.transworld.net/)

In a cost- and possibly life-saving move, the Department of Homeland Security has decided to replace the Secret Service with the Sigma Chi Fraternity. Elsie Pistolhead, spokesperson for Homeland Security, assured Bud Fox News that the transition to an all Greek protection force would be the Department’s top priority for the next several weeks:

This will be a competitive process. These jobs won’t just be given away. The Sigma Chi men selected must demonstrate the ability to do the following:

Continue reading →

In the Mix: Powdered Alcohol Gets Federal A-OK

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Stadium

Sports fans who’d like to have a drink while at the big game… (Photo: http://www.thetimesherald.com)

Palcohol

…will be happy to hear about the approval of powdered alcohol.  (Photo: http://www.bevlaw.com)

Cargo pants and shorts are probably coming back into style because of an announcement this week by the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (the “TTB“).

To the delight of sports fans (and college kids and frequent fliers and a whole lot of other people) everywhere who are tired of paying $12 for warm water disguised as beer, the TTB has given the federal green light to powdered alcohol. With any luck, 4″ x 6” fully alcoholic powdered margarita mix packets (a slam dunk for cargo shorts) should be here well ahead of preseason football (and flights to summer vacation destinations). According to the Wall Street Journal:

The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau on Tuesday approved labels for a powdered alcohol called Palcohol. Arizona-based Lipsmark LLC, the maker of a booze powder that can be mixed with water like instant tea or lemonade, hopes to begin selling the product soon.

Four Loko went on sale in the US in 2005 and was in trouble about four years later. Having ironed out the kinks on that campaign, New York Senator Chuck Schumer didn’t dillydally with Palcohol: A bill in the Senate was referred to committee back in November, before this product even got approved, to ban it nationwide before it becomes a staple of college fraternity life.    Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin: Atlanta Fed’s “Real-Time” GDP Estimate, Hillary Takes Questions, Etc…

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gdpnow-forecast-evolution

The Atlanta Fed’s GDP estimate of another estimate is 1.2% for 1Q15. (Source: http://www.frbatlanta.org)

Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton speaks during a press conference at the United Nations in New York

Asylum escapee-cum-Captain-Queeg-Clinton: Happy to answer hand-picked, softball questions. (Photo: Drudge Report)

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

  • Interesting: Hot-lanta Fed’s GDP estimate of another estimate…Atlanta Federal Reserve’s “GDPNow” forecasting model provides an updated forecast of the official estimate prior to its release.  (Fed Reserve of Atlanta)
  • Hillary on the hot seat: Clinton takes handpicked questions at UN.  (Business Insider)
  • One lump or two: Clinton says she did it because she wanted to carry only one phone. (WaPo)
  • iKnock-off: Counterfeit Apple Watches already for sale in China for less than $40.  (Daily Mail)
  • Federal pain in the arse: Strong jobs report leaves the Fed in a quandary.  (NY Post)
  • New York Times can’t find Iraq on a map: Note correction at bottom of article.  (NYT)
  • Nanny state: Judge’s temporary order blocks man from smoking in his own home.  (Komo 4 News)
  • Was that a wounded bird or a football pass? Tim Tebow might surface at the NFL veterans combine.  (CBS)

From the Loony Bin: Apple’s Dumb Smartwatch, Etc…

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Apple Watch: Is this a dumb or smart watch? (Photo: techinasia.com)

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

  • Apple Watch: “Sport” model starts at $350.  (USA Today)
  • Hillary hit: SNL has some fun at Mrs. Clinton’s expense.  (Youtube)
  • Golden Arches look tarnished: Continuing trend, McDonald’s February same store sales fall 4% in US, 1.7% globally.  (NYT)
  • Senate Republicans to Iran: Your deal with Obama won’t last.  (Bloomberg)
  • Clarence Thomas and the Klansmen: Barron’s AP European History test prep guide lumps the Supreme Court Justice and the Ku Klux Klan together in fascist category.  (Daily Caller)
  • NJ Transit riders:  Prepare for a rate hike AND service reduction.  (NJspotlight.com)
  • Calling Dr. James Andrews: Yu Darvish’s baseball season is in jeopardy.  (SB Nation)
  • Racism comes to campus: University of Oklahoma students protest a fraternity’s racist video.  (USA Today)