Separated at Birth: UNC’s Roy Williams, Countrywide’s Angelo Mozilo

Posted on April 1, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

LET THE FEEL OF THE WHEEL SEAL THE DEAL: Both UNC’s Roy Williams…. (Photo: http://www.unca.edu)

…and former Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo should be hawking used cars. (Photo: Countrywide Financial)

Bud Fox News asks: Who had/has the tougher job- Williams or Mozilo? The latter makes a strong case: The former Chairman/CEO of Countrywide Financial and the tanned face of the housing crisis, Mozilo turned his company into the three-card monte dealer of the housing disaster, dishing out fraudulent mortgages to unqualified homebuyers at a pace that would embarrass even the sleaziest of liquor store owners peddling MD 20/20 and Wild Irish Rose to those who can’t say no to another round.

Then again, Williams is no slouch: The men’s basketball coach at “Public Ivy” University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill since 2003, whose tan sometimes rivals Mozilo’s, turned a blind eye to an academic scandal of almost Countrywide proportion, in which at least hundreds of football and basketball student-athletes were supposedly funneled through the African American Studies Department where their transcripts were rubber-stamped with grades at least good enough to maintain the athletes’ eligibility. Erstwhile Tar Heel Rashad McCants was a short-term beneficiary of the scam. According to the Sporting News: Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin: Before the Pantsuit, Etc…

Posted on March 31, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

There’s BC, there’s AD, and then there’s BP, that is, “before the pantsuit.” (Photo: http://www.powerlineblog.com/)

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel

Secret Service strikes again: Secret Service and DEA agents busted in bitcoin scam. (NY Times)
Ben Bernanke blog posting: Why are interest rates so low? (Brookings Institute)
American Mystery Story: Consumers aren’t spending even in a booming job market. (Bloomberg)
One, two…what difference does it make? Hillary Clinton used two devices to send emails while Secretary of State. (AP)
Troubling Twitter trail: Daily Show’s new host is on the hot seat. (Salon)
Toothless Tiger: Tiger Woods drops out of the top 100. (Yahoo Sports)
Phony falconry: NFL fines Atlanta $350K for piping in artificial noise at home games. (Fox Sports)

Citing Academic Issues, Calipari Weighs Pulling Wildcats out of NCAA Tourney

Posted on March 26, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

He didn’t say it but could have: “The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.” (Quotation: Herbert Spencer, Photo: theclassical.org, )

Showing why he is clearly the anti-Jim Boeheim of college sports, coach John Calipari, in remarks after his team’s 78-39 dismantling of the West Virginia Mountaineers, admitted to Bud Fox News that he is considering taking his undefeated University of Kentucky team out of the NCAA tournament because of possible academic misconduct by several team members. Exhibiting the zero tolerance policy that he originated while coaching at UMass (his team’s 1996 Final Four appearance has been erased from the books because his star player took about $40K in cash and gifts, including the “ministrations of a prostitute“), but no doubt perfected at the University of Memphis, where his 2007-2008 team was stripped of all its wins, coach Calipari revealed that the potential misbehavior centers around an interdisciplinary independent study on which at least five players were collaborating. The challenging custom-made coursework incorporates material from four actual classes at the university:

LIS 611 Critical Analysis of Children’s Literature (affectionately known on campus as “Wildcat in the Hat”),
MAS 435 The History of Video Games and the Industry (also known as “GamerGut”),
GWS 610 Women and “Madness” (aka “Crazy Bitches”), and
Com 314 The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication and Relationships (aka “21st Century Bunny Boilers”).

Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin: Ford’s Nanny State Car, Etc…

Posted on March 25, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

Ford’s Nanny State Car will help you obey the speed limit. (Photo: etc.usf.edu)

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel

Slow down: New Ford car obeys speed limit for you. (CNN)
AWOL: Bowe Bergdahl, once missing U.S. soldier, charged with desertion. (WaPo)
Ivy ISIS: Cornell U assistant dean says OK to ISIS training camp for students. (NY Post)
Channeling Joe Namath: West Virginia’s Daxter Miles predicts upset over Kentucky. (ESPN)

Tesla Self-Driving Car Drives Owner to Ex-Wife’s House, Apologizes for Drinking & Womanizing

Posted on March 25, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

Are you ready to hand your car keys over to this man? (Photo: Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 1990 movie “Total Recall”)

All he wanted the car to do was drive him to the liquor store, but the vehicle had entirely different plans. Christian Church, 47, of Hamilton, NJ, has a beta-test version of the software update that will soon give Tesla Model S sedans the ability to drive themselves. Until yesterday Church had had no problems with the new technology, but at around 7 pm last night things literally went off course. After he input his destination into the car’s computer, Church kicked back in the rear seat and started to read the newspaper. When he looked up about ten minutes later, he realized he wasn’t anywhere near the liquor store, which is only about four miles from his house. He told Bud Fox News:

Before I could get an explanation from the system, the neighborhood started to look pretty familiar to me. I said to myself, “Holy Christ, this thing’s taking me to Mai’s house.” She’s my ex-wife. I haven’t seen her since the divorce.

Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin: Revenge of the “Villanova Piccolo Girl,” Etc…

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

New lease on life: Herbalife shares up over 40% this month. (USA Today)
Swing and a miss: Time Warner Cable to take $1 billion write-down on LA Dodgers television deal. (TV Week)
Keystone Cops: US spied on Israel, who was spying on US and giving info to…US Congress! (WSJ)
Tapped out: Greece to run out of cash by April 20. (Reuters)
Just the normal noises: Iran’s supreme leader chants, “Death to America,” as nuclear pact looms. (NY Post)
Cruzin to the primaries: Ted Cruz is first to declare his candidacy for president. (NYT)
Just coffee, please: Starbucks modifies its racial awareness campaign. (Washington Post)
Plea bargains for former NFL player: Darren Sharper avoids possible life sentence by taking deals in four states. (NBC)
Little Leaguer is the bigger person: Mo’ne Davis asks college to reinstate player who insulted her. (NPR)
Wildcat revenge: Crying “Villanova Piccolo Girl” plays with The Roots, Jimmy Fallon’s band. (Bleacher Report)

“Dog and Pony Show”: Financial Expression of the Day

Posted on March 21, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

They’ll never admit it, but managing directors love nothing more than a good dog and pony show. (Photo: silverdoctors.com)

Dog and Pony Show, noun phrase, according to Merriam-Webster: an often elaborate public relations or sales presentation; also, an overblown affair or event. Usage note: Although many senior bankers would never admit it, they all love a good dog and pony show. A catch-all expression, it aptly describes many of the silly presentations that bankers crank out and actually believe rank higher than brain surgery in importance and difficulty. A good example is a road show, which is a series of presentations given to professional investors by the management team of a company that is issuing securities (for example, an initial public offering). It gets its name because management and the lead underwriter (simply put, “the lead” in banker parlance) literally go on the road like a bunch of Bible-selling hucksters, hitting all major US cities (and Europe if it’s a real boondoggle) in attempt to drum up interest in their deal by rhapsodically talking up the company’s prospects while walking the truth/lie knife edge, a game that everyone involved- pitcher and pitchee- tacitly understands. They do big group breakfasts and lunches in fancy hotel dining rooms; they do “one-on-ones” every hour at investors’ offices that run the interior design gamut from Caligula-esque to monk-like affairs in strip malls (the range of offices stocked with everything from super model manqué secretaries to 300-pound bearded ladies who refuse to get coffee); they do small group dinners at high-end bistros; and they squeeze into low-end conference rooms during any down time for “calls” with investors who just can’t bear the prospect of seeing these people face-to-face. At a breakneck pace, they travel by plane, taxi, “black car” or rental, subway, railroad…whatever method will deliver them to an investor who’s got enough excess cash and a half hour open on his schedule. Continue reading →

White House Leaks President Obama’s Real Bracket

Posted on March 19, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

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Just a smokescreen: Earlier this week, President Obama discussed his phony bracket with ESPN’s Andy Katz. (Photo: ABC News)

Don’t be fooled by the NCAA tournament bracket that President Obama proudly unveiled earlier this week. It’s a phony: They aren’t his real predictions. Bud Fox News has acquired a copy of Obama’s real picks, and they make for one hell of an ugly bracket. Obama plays a significant part in the leaked grid, no surprise considering this is the same person who told students at the University of Maryland, “I’ve still got game.” Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin: All the Way with UVa, Etc…

Posted on March 17, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

Canada Bill picks UVa.

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

Your tuition dollars at work: Penn State associate professor of sociology is arrested for bizarre, disorderly conduct aboard Nicaragua-Miami flight. (Washington Post)
Schocking fall from grace: Republican Congressman Aaron Schock of Illinois will resign amid questions about his spending. (Bloomberg)
Blame it on the weather: Housing starts fall 17% in February to lowest level in a year. (Forbes)
Enemy within: US Air Force vet charged with trying to support ISIS. (Reuters)
Bibi’s back: Netanyahu reelected. (AP)
WMT breaking bad: Meth lab found in Muncie, Indiana WalMart bathroom. (NY Daily News)
Using his head: 49ers LB Chris Borland, 24, retires over head injury worries. (FoxSports)

From the Loony Bin: Waiting on the Fed, Etc…

Posted on March 16, 2015 by Canada Bill Jones

The markets wait for either Tweety Bird or…

…Federal Reserve chair Yellen to speak on Wednesday. (Photo: Getty images)

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel:

The wait on rates: The Federal Reserve speaks this Wednesday. (USA Today)
Has the Middle Eastern arms race begun? Saudi Arabia signs nuclear cooperation agreement with South Korea. (WSJ)
Was he away at sensitivity training? Putin returns from 10-day AWOL. (Reuters)
He got weeded out: St. John’s shot-blocking center banned from NCAA tourney because of failed drug test. (NBC Sports)
Wheel him into the OR: Mets’ fireballer Zach Wheeler likely to go under knife for torn elbow ligament. (USA Today)
Rangers are disarmed: Ross Ohlendorf is fifth Texas Ranger pitcher to go down with an injury. (ESPN)
Kentucky or the field? The other 67 have the edge. (ESPN)
Pelicans’ Anthony Davis puts up historic line in loss: 36 points, 14 rebounds, 9 blocks, 7 assists. (CBS Sports)
HBO gets its man: Killer unwittingly confesses during filming of documentary. (NYT)
Not pot: 6th-grader suspended for possession of leaf that is not marijuana. (Roanoke Times)