Revealed: The Real Reason for New Fence at NYC Mayor’s Mansion

Posted on December 15, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

The reason for this eyesore of a fence at the mayor’s house? (Photo: http://www.nydailynews.com)

So you can’t see that Al Sharpton has taken over the place! (Photo: http://www.nypost.com)

New York City Mayor Bill “Sandinista!” de Blasio just completed a baffling bit of home improvement to the mayor’s official residence. According to the New York Post:

Mayor Bill de Blasio, a self-declared progressive “man of the people,” has erected a massive new “privacy fence” to keep his constituents from looking in on Gracie Mansion.

There are at least two competing theories for why the mayor put up the fence. According to the same Post article, there’s speculation that de Blasio “…demanded the extension because he was sick of nosy people in Carl Schurz Park peeping in while he hung out in the yard.” The New York Daily News, however, suggests that the mayor’s security chief lobbied for the new addition “in the wake of White House fence jumpers.” That the Daily News was actually willing to print such an explanation suggests that the newspaper is actually the marketing arm of the de Blasio administration. Continue reading →

Federal Appeals Court: Insider Trading Is A-OK

Posted on December 13, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

From Steven Cohen’s art collection: This shark is in a tank…

…and this one is now legit!

If fear of prison was the only thing stopping you from trying to get rich on insider trading, then a federal appeals court just gave you the green light. On Wednesday, a three-judge panel at the US Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit in Manhattan gave a thumbs-up to market manipulation by unanimously throwing out the insider trading convictions of former hedge fund analysts Todd Newman and Anthony Chiasson. The duo were convicted of trading on tips disseminated by a network of analysts. At the original trial, judge Richard Sullivan told the jury that it could convict Newman and Chiasson if prosecutors proved that the accused knew the tips weren’t public and that the leak violated a fiduciary duty.

In great news to ethically-challenged stock traders everywhere, the appeals court deemed those jury instructions incorrect. Although the appeal took about a day longer than anticipated because the judges granted a recess during market hours to allow the litigants to trade their personal accounts, the result never really appeared in doubt. As reported by the New York Post yesterday, the newest best friends of financial scammers ruled that: Continue reading →

Columbia University Law School Students Can Delay Finals If Traumatized by Recent Grand Jury Verdicts?!

Posted on December 8, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

At Columbia, lefty lawyers-in-training are really learning their craft.

According to the Powerlineblog.com website, Robert Scott, the interim dean of Columbia University’s Law School, sent a message to students informing them that those sufficiently traumatized by the grand jury verdicts in the Michael Brown (aka Ferguson) and Eric Garner (Staten Island “chokehold”) cases could petition the law school to postpone their final exams. Here’s the key passage of Scott’s supposed message:

The law school has a policy and set of procedures for students who experience trauma during exam period. In accordance with these procedures and policy, students who feel that their performance on examinations will be sufficiently impaired due to the effects of these recent events may petition Dean Alice Rigas to have an examination rescheduled.

Oh, c’mon, let’s not discriminate against students who might be traumatized by other recent events; such an oversight would be unfair. Take, for example, law school students who are fans of Charles Manson. If they didn’t get an invitation to his upcoming wedding, they must be emotionally devastated. Can they apply for an exam delay? Heck, during the Christmas season, sorry- I meant holiday season, what with dysfunctional family dinners and the like, most Columbia law students are probably distraught about something. The most mature course of action is for the administration to cancel exams and give students randomly assigned grades using some sort of “disparate impact” racial quota system blessed by a special-interest-group-obsessed psychologist. Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin…

Posted on December 5, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

Somebody get the straitjacket.

Bud’s Round-up of Daily Drivel…

From the Loony Bin…

Posted on December 4, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

Smoke ’em if you got ’em!

Some of the Daily Drivel:

Despite Never Having Ridden a Motorcycle, Tiger Woods Inks Endorsement Deal with Hero MotoCorp

Posted on December 4, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

Tiger Woods’ latest ad campaign: Ride a motorcycle not a cocktail waitress!

Although he’s never ridden a motorcycle, Tiger Woods announced this week that he’s signed a four-year endorsement contract with Hero MotoCorp Ltd. (ticker HMCL:IN), India’s largest motorcycle manufacturer. Woods’ relationship with Hero went public back in September when the company announced that it had agreed to sponsor this week’s World Challenge tournament at Orlando, Florida’s Isleworth Golf & Country Club. The event has an 18-player field and benefits Woods’s charitable foundation.

In a sign that he might not know Woods well, Hero CEO Pawan Munjal issued this statement about his company’s first global corporate endorser:

“…not just a golfing champion and an icon for millions around the world; he is indeed a phenomenon -– a symbol of humility in victory and grace in adversity.” Continue reading →

“Net Net”: Financial Expression of the Day

Posted on December 3, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

Like Heisenberg, the i-banker wants to know the net net: Are we gonna do a deal?

“Net net,” noun phrase, the ultimate result or outcome; also adverbial phrase, in summary. Usage note: Because this term can be employed as either a noun or an adverb, one hears it fairly often in the financial field, which is unfortunate because its utterance is about as annoying as stepping in dog turd. It’s obnoxious because the user of the term often seems to be implying that he has no interest in hearing the current speaker’s full message because the former is too busy, intelligent, and important for such silliness. Someone asking for the “net net” frequently means: “Spare me all your windbaggery and just give me the bottom line.” Continue reading →

From the Loony Bin…

Posted on December 3, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

A couple of days’ worth of the Daily Drivel:

This news is hair-raising.

NY Yankees Hire David Copperfield as New Hitting Coach

Posted on November 28, 2014 by Canada Bill Jones

Copperfield shown here using the “fire trick” to fool Mark Teixeira into doing the impossible- hitting to the opposite field.

TAMPA, Fl. — Thwack! The sound of a solidly hit baseball reverberated in the area behind home plate at George Steinbrenner Field in Tampa. Yankees general manager Brian Cashman smiled and excitedly said, “Look at that. We’re already getting our money’s worth. Mark Teixeira hitting the ball hard to the opposite field. That’s magic. I haven’t seen that in at least half a decade.” Teixeira, hitting from the left-hand-side, appeared as shocked as Cashman at his hard hit liner over short. Meanwhile, a black-clad David Copperfield, eyes closed, chanting in what sounded like an ancient foreign language while swinging an incense-containing thurible from a chain, slowly began to circle the oft-injured Yankee first baseman. Teixeira, although visibly nervous, made clear to all that he’s willing to go along: “You think he can cure my wrist, knee, oblique, hamstring and make the dizziness go away too?” Continue reading →